Dear Sister,

Hello my lovely little sister.
I am writing you this letter in order to, first and foremost,
apologize and secondly to tell you how special I think you are. So here goes.

Dear Sister,


I am sorry. I'm sorry that I resented you when you were a baby. .I'm sorry for the way I treated you when we were younger. I am sorry for not being stronger for you when Papa died. I'm sorry for hurting and not paying attention to the fact that you were hurting more.
I am sorry for leaving you alone anytime that I might have. I am sorry for not letting you know that I loved you like a mother would love her own daughter. I'm sorry for breaking you. For making you feel as if you were not special or pretty or smart or amazing.

I am sorry for stepping back and watching you grow as opposed to stepping in and helping you grow. I am sorry that you had to see me struggle and make mistakes. I'm sorry for being a horrible example for you back then. I am sorry that I didn't make better choices for you to witness and learn from. I am sorry for being a bad sister, role model and friend.

Dear Sister,

I am sorry that I left you during a time when you probably needed me most. I'm not sorry for introducing you to my Lord and planting that seed in you but I am sorry that I left and didn't help you bloom into the woman of God that I know you can be. I'm so sorry for leaving you. I truly am sorry.

I am sorry that I didn't stay in better contact with you while I was away. I'm sorry if you felt that I wasn't there for you. Or if you felt like you had noone to talk to while I was gone. I am sorry for not coming home more often to spend time with you and for not being that person that you could rely on for advice, support and love.

Dear Sister,

I am sorry that now I am still setting really bad examples for you. I'm sorry that you still hurt. I am sorry that you feel like you can't come to me when you feel sad or angry or broken. I'm sorry for the fact that I am not a very good sister to you. I am sorry that you have to look at my imperfections and take them on yourself. I'm sorry that I am not the woman of God that I know that I can be in order for you to grow in my example.

I am sorry that I sometimes talk to you as if you are my daughter instead of speaking to as if you are my best friend. I am sorry for worrying about you constanly. I'm sorry for wanting what is best for you. I am sorry that you feel worthless. I am sorry that I can't always express to you how much I care about you and how deeply I love you.

Though this is not my fault, I am sorry that your father does not treat you like the beautiful princess that you are. And I am sorry that you can not see that THE FATHER sees you in exactly that form. I am sorry that you sin and struggle and agonize. I am sorry for not being able to take on your pain myself, because if God would let me...I would.

Dear Sister,

I need you to know that I love you with every fiber of my being. I may have resented you when we were children but somewhere along the way that resentment shifted into a feeling that is almost indescribeable. You truly are my best friend, even if I am not yours.

When I look at you on the outside I see a young woman who could have the world on a silver platter if she wanted it. You are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. You are smart and witty and funny. You have this thing about you that draws people in and makes them want to get to know you. Believe me, I've observed this for many years now.

The thing that breaks my heart is when I delve deeper into your being. When I look into youreyes I see sadness, anger, pain.... I might even see a hint of resentment, for me perhaps, in those eyes. Which I probably deserve.

I wish that I could just take all of those dark parts of your being and throw them into the ocean or bury them underground so that you would not have to feel them anymore. I want you to be happy and whole, again. I need you to know that you are worth so much more than you , or any boy, could ever give you credit for.

You are worth more than gold my sister. If ever you need me I am here.

"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be Praised" Proverbs 31:30

"When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way."
Psalm 142:3

I love you. God Bless and Goodnight my dear sweet sister.

Love, Mandie Lynn

ps-I'm sorry if you hate me.